from Chapter 3 of. . .

Morris, William. 1919. Hopes and Fears for Art. New York: Longmans, Green, and Co. <http://www.marxists.org/archive/morris/works/1882/hopes/index.htm>, 2003.

Today we toodled across North Georgia, experiencing the unexpected heights of the Chattahoochee National Forest and the devastating lows of the Coconut Bay Cafe in Manchester, Tennessee.

The Coconut Bay Cafe is actually sort of a roadhouse dinner place whose Monday special is domestic longnecks for a dollar fifty. We opted for the two-for-one margaritas. Funny thing is, when you order two margaritas and are told “y’know, ther two fer wahn”, you figure that’s Tennessean for “you’re getting a deal”, but it turns out to mean “you’re getting four”:

One nice thing about the Coconut Bay Cafe: we got to watch a little hockey.

Opening face-offs are my specialty. Jodi wasn’t particularly fond of the decor. We only found the Coconut Bay Cafe because it’s right next to the Ambassador Inn where we are staying tonight. Jodi tells me Manchester, TN, is home to some kind of Bonobo festival, but fortunately it’s not now so we don’t have to wade through the hippies and the chimps to get to our chips and salsa. Tomorrow we’re planning to get up early (but it won’t seem early, it’s the Central Time Zone—it’s like we left daylight savings behind) and drive into Nashville, where we will bum around and hope to find interesting things that aren’t the Grand Ole Opry.

Now I have to decide which of my five other Ontario wines to open next. I have one in particular I’m hoping will be good. If I leave it ’til the end, I may be disappointed. But if I try it next and it’s great, then I’ll have four more bottles of grog to slog through before I get to buy myself another bottle of the good stuff.

Maybe I should just roll a die! With 5 sides!? Stymied!!

I made an impulse buy today, leaving the grocery store. There’s some back story, though. See, I’ve been trying to drink more lately. Kind of a New Year’s resolution. What I like to drink best is red wine, and a few nights ago I opened a bottle of Pelee Island Shiraz Cabernet. I’d been avoiding this bottle for two reasons: Pelee Island is in Ontario, and Shiraz is, well, Shiraz. But you know, it wasn’t bad at all. Can the magic of Cabernet dispel the torpor of Shiraz? Apparently.

So I made an impulse buy today. There’s a little wine shop just outside my grocery store. In Ontario, you can only buy booze in three ways: Beer, wine, and spirits can be purchased through the government-owned LCBO; beer can be purchased at the heavily regulated, beer-industry owned Beer Store; and wine can be purchased in a few specially licensed locations, usually attached to but separate from grocery stores. These wine stores are limited by regulation to selling the wines of Ontario wineries. And today I got distracted by the shiny red “sale” signs. I decided to take a chance on a bottle of Inniskillin Cabernet Merlot (2003) that was marked down from $14.95 to $9.95. Why not, eh.

But the fun had only begun. I remembered I had $50 worth of LCBO gift cards lying around, and so I went out this afternoon and spent them. Here is a list of today’s wines, including the above-mentioned, just because:

• Ancient Coast Baco Noir VQA Ontario
• Colio Estates Cabernet Sauvignon VQA Ontario
• Inniskillin Cabernet Merlot
• Pelee Island Cabernet Franc VQA Ontario
• Salmon River Cabernet Merlot VQA Niagara Peninsula
• Willow Heights Baco Noir VQA Ontario

VQA is a quality designation that guarantees the wine is made entirely of grapes grown in a specific region. Only the Inniskillin lacks this designation, which is odd, because on the Inniskillin web site there are a 2004 and a 2002 Cabernet Merlot that are both VQA. 2003 must’ve been a bad year for the appropriate local grapes.

I’m also a little confused by the other wines that are designated VQA Ontario. If I read Inniskillin’s explanation of VQA correctly, they should be designated Niagara Peninsula, Pelee Island, or Lake Erie North Shore. Perhaps the Ontario designation means the grapes came from more than one Ontario region, but isn’t the whole point to distinguish among them? Wine is about nothing if not distinction.

At any rate, a glass of the Inniskillin sits beside me now, and it’s good enough. Hint of this with a finish of that. You know, drinkable. And that’s all I ask.

Glad it was on sale, though.

So cyrenaics it is.

Cluster A ( Full-Bodied, Medium-Sweet, Pronounced Sherry with Fruity, Spicy, Malty Notes and Nutty, Smoky Hints): Balmenach, Dailuaine, Dalmore, Glendronach, Macallan, Mortlach, Royal Lochnagar;

Cluster B ( Medium-Bodied, Medium-Sweet, with Nutty, Malty, Floral, Honey and Fruity Notes): Aberfeldy, Aberlour, Ben Nevis, Benrinnes, Benromach, Blair Athol, Cragganmore, Edradour, Glenfarclas, Glenturret, Knockando, Longmorn, Scapa, Strathisla;

Cluster C (Medium-Bodied, Medium-Sweet, with Fruity, Floral, Honey, Malty Notes and Spicy Hints ): Balvenie, Benriach, Dalwhinnie, Glendullan, Glen Elgin, Glenlivet, Glen Ord, Linkwood, Royal Brackla;

Cluster D (Light, Medium-Sweet, Low or No Peat, with Fruity, Floral, Malty Notes and Nutty Hints ): An Cnoc, Auchentoshan, Aultmore, Cardhu, Glengoyne, Glen Grant, Mannochmore, Speyside, Tamdhu, Tobermory;

Cluster E (Light, Medium-Sweet, Low Peat, with Floral, Malty Notes and Fruity, Spicy, Honey Hints ): Bladnoch, Bunnahabhain, Glenallachie, Glenkinchie, Glenlossie, Glen Moray, Inchgower, Inchmurrin, Tomintoul;

Cluster F (Medium-Bodied, Medium-Sweet, Low Peat, Malty Notes and Sherry, Honey, Spicy Hints ): Ardmore, Auchroisk, Bushmills, Deanston, Glen Deveron, Glen Keith, Glenrothes, Old Fettercairn, Tomatin, Tormore, Tullibardine;

Cluster G (Medium-Bodied, Sweet, Low Peat and Floral Notes ): Arran, Dufftown, Glenfiddich, Glen Spey, Miltonduff, Speyburn;

Cluster H (Medium-Bodied, Medium-Sweet, with Smoky, Fruity, Spicy Notes and Floral, Nutty Hints ): Balblair, Craigellachie, Glen Garioch, Glenmorangie, Oban, Old Pulteney, Strathmill, Tamnavulin, Teaninch;

Cluster I (Medium-Light, Dry, with Smoky, Spicy, Honey Notes and Nutty, Floral Hints): Bowmore, Bruichladdich, Glen Scotia, Highland Park, Isle of Jura, Springbank;

Cluster J (Full-Bodied, Dry, Pungent, Peaty and Medicinal, with Spicy, Feinty Notes): Ardbeg, Caol Ila, Clynelish, Lagavulin, Laphroaig, Talisker.

Some might even consider this a sort of checklist.